Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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