butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
