If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
