I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
