Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
