don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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