My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
