You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
