hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
