she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
