Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
