Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
