Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
