used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
