I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
