Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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