Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize