We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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