before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
