Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
