is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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