That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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