brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize