I am puke
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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