honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize