whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
