grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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