We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize