you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
