Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
