Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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