I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We have started to decorate penises.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize