Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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