Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
