I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
