There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
