i can't believe i had my finger in that
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
