Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
