I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
God, I missed his penis.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
