yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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