I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
