Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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