Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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