Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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