Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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