Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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