The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
