Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My ass is underappreciated
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
