Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
