I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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