My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
