so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
