Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
