when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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