i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
