The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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