Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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